Tomorrow Is Now Today

We’re  going to be looking at a house tomorrow, and I’m scared. What if I like it? Am I ready to make that kind of commitment again after leaving in a luxury apartment for more than 10 years? I wonder. I don’t know.

It was easy to downsize and step into apartment living for me. My roost was on the topmost floor and included a balcony where I could look out at the hill country. The apartment was easy to clean, especially when I broke it down into two days; one day for bathrooms and kitchen and the next day for dusting and vacuuming.

I wasn’t responsible for the landscaping, yet I could go out anytime I wanted for a swim in the pool with grotto and waterfall.

STOP! Tomorrow is now today.

We looked at that house today, but it wasn’t the right one. At least that’s what I thought. My husband didn’t agree, and now I feel like I lost my best friend. There’s this huge pit in my stomach, and it’s been eroding my insides for about 5 hours now, which was when we left the 6 acre property.

This piece of land had a lot going for it. An electric gate opened up to a stonewall lined driveway. Mature trees with extended limbs welcomed us like a grandmother. To the right were the horse stables and corral while the back had a chicken coop with chickens and rooster and two goats.

An ideal house sat in the middle of this tranquil scene. The kitchen had the obligatory stainless steal appliances, gas stove, and granite breakfast bar. There was a stone fireplace and large master bath with soaking tub and walk-in shower. Now get this. The shower had two heads: one against the wall and another directly overhead like a saturated cloud.

So, why wasn’t this the right house for me? The house is a monstrous 3,000 square feet with 4 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms, which is twice the amount we’d need since it’s just me and my husband who are in our mid 50s and 60s.

And what about livestock? My spouse and I have only raised cats, so I don’t know about the donkeys he would like. Do donkey’s need a horse stable? Maybe I need to Google donkeys. I think that’s what I’ll do.

I feel my hollow insides twisting into tangled knots, so I’m feeling slightly better now that I’ve written some of this down. Nasty day. I feel like I’ve gone from 60 to 0, and I’m empty. My face frowns as the knots unwind to nothing.

By nancyrsantucci

Newly retired Texas educator who loves reading, exercising, cats, and hanging out with her husband.

6 comments

  1. If you knew today would be hard, you’d still get up to face it — to find the right questions to ask and the information to find. House hunting is a lot about dreams — wishing you great good luck in finding your joint dream house!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I liked your post, not because you had a hard day but because you wrote about it. I feel for you and you’ve made me a little scared. We will also be making similar decisions and fear that my husband and I might not be on the same page about our future home. We have the land – 14 acres – and will build, planning to downsize from our large house now, with finished gardens, a workshop for him, and an office space for me. We have lots of extra room now that our boys are gone. But, those joint decisions are hard….. what you might want and what your husband might want will take some discussion about where you can meet in the middle. I know I’ll be having similar discussions down the road. I wish you the best and hope you can find some compromises.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s