It happened in the back of a jeep. It was something I had been waiting for, but this wasn’t how I pictured it. I was grabbed by a drunken friend whom I thought might be a good candidate for a first boyfriend, but there were too many discomforts: the warm alcohol on his breath, me completely sober, the jeep strewn with his friends. I wasn’t about to make out in the back seat even with his beseeching words, “Come on, Nance” that were said over and over again.
This would be my first kiss (yes, as a senior in high school too), but I didn’t want it. Where was the romance? Where was the privacy? If I went ahead and kissed back, what would come next? Would his friends think of me as a slut and easy? I couldn’t succumb to this type of identity.
I pushed his shoulders back and tried to ignore the pursed pink lips. What would tomorrow at school be like? I didn’t want to find out.
Finally the jeep rolled up my driveway, and I was safely home. I headed up the stairs to my bedroom and wished for an endless sleep, but the singing alarm clock woke me up to another school day. My stomach tightened as I looked in the mirror to brush my teeth. The bus ride would be safe and serene since no one from last night’s jeep ride would be present, but once inside the halls, who knew what I would encounter. I also had First Period Study Hall in the library where I sat at a table across from Kevin, the potential boyfriend in the jeep who would no longer be drunk. AWKWARD!
Well even with that awkwardness, I ended up going with Kevin to my Senior Prom. There wasn’t any romance involved, but it was a good time with friends.
My senior year did, however, end with a romantic kiss if not kisses. I hooked up with a foreign exchange student from Denmark and making out had become the goal of all of our encounters. HIs kisses were warm, new, explorative, and completely private. My face still turns a little pink when I think about the mosquito bites that were endured while laying under the park tree at night or forging into the woods of a developing subdivision with monstrous houses under construction to lie together on a bed of soft pine needles.